I've recently been reading Sacred Power, Holy Surrender and there's a section on it about the concept of service. It's made me consider my entire approach to service in a different way.
When I was a child, service was a complex topic. We owned a bakery and ...
I've come across a few people who have read my writing either before meeting me or after meeting and considering playing with me, and a few of them have been turned off by my explicit and vivid descriptions of the kind of deep psychological work I've been doing ...
This is a quick note to folks who were reading my series on Co-Dependency in the scene and have been waiting for the last part in the series.
I have a partial draft of it that I'm working off of, but I feel I'm not ready to release ...
Power Exchange is not topping. Power exchange is not domming. Power exchange is not mastery. Yet it gets conflated with all of these in our community. That's because along with the love, the trust, the caring and wish fulfillment, we are in love with imagery and symbolism. We love ...
I've never been one to subscribe to those online quizzes that revel some deep part of your personality to you, but I took the Love Languages one (http://www.5lovelanguages.com/) and it did was illuminating.
Here are my results:
9 Quality Time 7 Acts of Service 6 Words ...
About six months ago, I wrote a post called I want to tie you, not marry you... (intimacy in the scene) about how a scene can be intimate without implying more commitment beyond the parameters of the scene itself. But that's only half the story....
It can be really ...
Of all the features on Fetlife, I find Group the most frustrating. Posts on Fetlife groups are often negative, blaming, shaming and unhelpful. Sadly, Groups are also the place that many new people find themselves first, as they dip their toes in the kinky waters, they read and ask questions ...
The BDSM community provides an amazing opportunity to have your needs fulfilled and your deepest wishes and fantasies come true. In coming to grips with my past, I've found that there has been a pattern of dating people who I later learned had Borderline Personality Disorder, and that I ...
In the [previous post][http://vircotto.com/borderline-and-co-dependency-in-the-scene-part-3-warning-signs-in-your-partner.html] on this topic, I discussed the patterns that one sees in a relationship with a Borderline, starting from the initial period of euphoria, and leading to destructive patterns that I outlined in parts two and three. In this post, I'll ...
I had an experience today that has really effected me.
I did a bit of online pickup play. I let people know I'd be in a different city and asked if anyone wanted to have coffee. A bottom asked me if I'd be up for play. I thought ...