Kink is very therapeutic on a number of levels. There is a term "Touch hunger" that refers to the physical need for physical contact. Our Western society dictates that we only get this need met in a very narrow set of criteria, particularly for heterosexual men for whom sex is ...

When I ran a sex chat website, I would be asked about BDSM from curious folks, especially women. Recently one of my former chatters came to me and asked about BDSM, what it was about and whether it was something she was looking for in her life. I answered her ...

You're a dominant who is looking for a submissive, either someone to play with as a top, or maybe as a long term relationship. And you've decided to make a posting online.

If you're a subby (or switchy) person looking for a similar guide for submissives, check ...

Pickup play is a term the BDSM community uses for playing with someone you barely know, maybe someone you met at a party a few minutes earlier. With dating ads or online postings, it can be hard to know how to know who is "the real deal".

So you've ...

More than once in the scene, I've heard people refer to vanilla folks as "muggles". Fuck that noise.

I understand how we feel. The scene isn't just about kink, many of us are nerds, geeks and weirdos. We don't conform to society's ideas of sex, relationships ...

There is a common occurrence in the BDSM community, which is the conflation between dominance and superiority.

It usually goes along the lines of "I am superior to others because of some attribute, such as my gender, race or physical attribute."

I think this kind of play is incredibly hot ...

Whenever I read a story of how someone in the scene has overcome rejection, I see a lot of positive, supportive reactions. These stories, almost always from women, go something along the lines of:

"I was too scared so I didn't ask" or even "I was rejected so many ...

I think all of us know the experience of a small community. Maybe we were in a club in High School, or an online forum or some other world. We know the dangers of dating within that group, of the awkwardness of having dated someone in that community, and then ...

Hey Bottoms,

Did you have a great time last night? Did the top really give you a good scene? Did they help you feel really good? Did you enjoy yourself?

Then drop them a little note the next day.

Many tops (including myself) will tell a bottom that if they ...

Safety signals are very important, especially if you're playing with someone you don't know well.

Not that long ago, someone wanted to do a scene with me and told me her safeword was... I don't actually remember, so let's say it was abrachiocephalia.

"What? I don ...