Vir Cotto's BDSM Blog

Dominance and Superiority

There is a common occurrence in the BDSM community, which is the conflation between dominance and superiority.

It usually goes along the lines of "I am superior to others because of some attribute, such as my gender, race or physical attribute."

I think this kind of play is incredibly hot, I engage in it, but I know it's also a type of roleplay. I don't think that my gender, race, or other physical attribute makes me inherently superior. The problem comes when I meet people in the scene who genuinely believe this. Occasionally they are given a platform to espouse these beliefs at our events.

Believing that you are actually superior to others because of an attribute that you did not actively choose and work for is not a kink, it's a form of sexism or bigotry. It's hate speech, and we as a community need to stop giving it a platform.