Vir Cotto's BDSM Blog

Love Languages and Me

I've never been one to subscribe to those online quizzes that revel some deep part of your personality to you, but I took the Love Languages one ( and it did was illuminating.

Here are my results:

9 Quality Time 7 Acts of Service 6 Words of Affirmation 4 Physical Touch 4 Receiving Gifts

I don't entirely agree with the results, but number one and two make absolute sense to me. Spending time with someone I care about is paramount. Quality time doesn't have to be going out- in fact, the more someone feeds my introvert nature, the better. Quiet nights reading together, or watching TV, or just being around one another doing separate activities- all these replenish me.

2- Acts of Service, explains a lot. Romance and D/s are deeply entwined in my mind. I don't let people serve me easily, it's too intimate. Even before I was kinky, small gestures like getting me something, or throwing something away for me were powerful, touching gestures. Acts of service are incredibly romantic. D/s is romance amplified.

I've used these results and looked back at failed relationships to see why they failed. I've also used this to help me think about the future, about my reactions and my needs in order to be more conscious about not only what I want, but how I feel, and what my feelings mean.

It's a good quiz an useful exercise.