There is no more cherished body in the scene than that of a single woman. You see it at munches and play parties. A single woman can even become so overwhelmed with attention (both wanted and unwanted) that we have writings on how they feel both welcome and uncomfortable and …

It's been one year since I joined the kink scene, and what a year it's been.

I have to admit, I've been thinking about what I'd write about this anniversary for a few weeks. What would I focus on, especially in light of my already having written about my experiences …

When I was first getting into BDSM, I drove myself crazy in a way that nearly burned me out of BDSM permanently. I'd like to keep that from happening to anyone else...

The year was 2010, and my girlfriend told me that her favorite movie was Secretary. I'd been interested …

This post is inspired partially by the wonderful @Sonya's post The Real Reasons I Don't Drink and Dom.

I've recently come up against a problem that's tested my convictions. I love teaching/presenting. I made my first presentation to a group of computer enthusiasts at 19, and continued throughout college …

When I joined the BDSM community, I was fully prepared to be schooled in the art of flogging, whipping, rope bondage, etc. and I haven't been disappointment. But what I've really been schooled in is an emotional awareness.

This community has such an incredible emphasis on taking emotional responsibility for …

Recently, a prominent figure in a well known project known as Docker has decided to step down from her role in the company due to online harassment. This wasn't honest criticism or even just cursing, this was death threats, sexual harassment, as well as photo-shopped gory image of her.

There's …

"Submission is a gift" is something I read very often here on fetlife (especially in the DD/lg community groups). It's a trope, and while it may be comforting to some, I find myself increasingly bothered by it.

That's because it implies that the act of submission has greater value …

It's taken me years to realize that subs need doms, but I finally get it.

Let me be clear- I'm not talking about bottoming for a scene or other fun times. Similarly, I'm not saying that this assertion applies to all submissives, or submissives in every setting- but for the …

When I started being public with kink, I was nervous about finding people who wanted to let me top them. It was difficult to find people to play with (and still is sometimes, depending on the event), but lately I've had to turn a few people down when they've asked …

We in the BSDM community talk a lot about negotiation as a skill to cultivate. We talk about negotiating especially in pickup play, but generally as a way of making for good scenes.

There's another kind of negotiation that's often left undiscussed, and that's the real negotiations we make with …