Coercion isn't a topic we see discussed very often in our community. It doesn't fit the consent narrative. We assume that in kink both parties must be coming at things from an entirely equal place before and during negotiation, and then that established the parameters of play.

This idea ignores …

Our community is getting increasingly tense. We hear about consent violators every day. Bottoms are worried about being violated, tops are worried about being accused. Some kinds of problems aren't talked about at all. The blowups are getting bigger and more intense. And all the while, we seem to be …

I turned on the television and watched one of my junk TV shows "Bar Rescue", and I see a "BDSM Munch" in a bar, with play... (episode 12 Beers a Slave)

I get needing a place for a munch that will let you. I'm in the process of trying to …

On STC yesterday, I was asked a question I've been asked many times before by men, "Do you share your sub?".

I didn't understand what they meant at first.

Did they mean do I have my subs do domestic chores for others?

They didn't mean that.

Did they mean if …

As I have begun to travel the scene, I am seeing a sad trend in the way that negotiation is shifting away from being a way to create a wonderful, hot, connecting scene to being a tool for absolution of responsibility on both sides, where negotiation is replacing communication and …

One of the most difficult parts of joining the scene for many of us is that we have such strong associations between kink and intimacy. If we've played, kink has not only been associated with sex, but even more intimate then sex- the side of ourselves that we dare only …

I've been in the scene for less than two years, yet I've already seen an unhealthy pattern in our leadership: Conflict Aversion

It's easy to understand conflict aversion- we all want to be liked by our mentors and peers. We want to appear kind and helpful, and we certainly don't …

Let's be honest with ourselves for a moment. If you push past aside the tittilating photos on K&P, and the sexy erotic literature that our friends post, this community (online or offline) is a sexual minority. It's taken me a long time to realize I was part of this …

While the event is still going on as I write this, for me, TES Fest 2016 comes to a close. This was my second time TES Fest, and it was a meaningful one.

I had the opportunity to meet and play with someone who I'd only talked to online. This …

Late last night, I got into a discussion regarding the Supreme Court's decisions to not allow "religious objections" as an excuse in the denial of marriage licenses.

I jumped in and discussed the rights of polyamarous and other folks with unrecognized relationships, saying that things have progressed, but that we …