When I joined the BDSM community, I was fully prepared to be schooled in the art of flogging, whipping, rope bondage, etc. and I haven't been disappointment. But what I've really been schooled in is an emotional awareness.

This community has such an incredible emphasis on taking emotional responsibility for yourself, for owning your own actions, your own needs, accepting your desires, working them out in healthy ways, etc. I meet people in the community in their 20s who have the emotional understanding of people twice their age, and I'm in awe.

I think it would be easy to say that the reason we see that is to do the kinds we do, you need emotional awareness, to be either the giver or receiver of BDSM, one must have a certain level of emotional maturity. I disagree. I think the real reason we see this maturity is that it's something that the community respects and cultivates- that it requires and demands, not because of the activities themselves, but because of the emotional context around those activities.

In other words, BDSM is not the origin or cause of the emotional maturity, but the BDSM community itself is, in its emotional rigor and consistent demand for self-awareness along with self-acceptance.

This community has taught me more about myself and my world than I would have believed possible, and I'm continually grateful for each and every one of you.