One of the most challenging things that a new kinkster faces is the question of how to bring up and explore kink with their partner. This topic is often poorly covered by both mainstream and BDSM communities for reasons later. Nonetheless, this topic deserves discussion and consideration since for many ...

Last week, I was the victim of cyberbullying by a person in the kink community. Reflecting on my experience, I've had a few thoughts about cyberbullying, as well as abusive behavior in general.

First, cyberbullying is no different than other forms of bullying or abusive behavior. Recently on Fetlife ...

In the last month, I've had to let people go, out of my life.

Just about a month ago, I told my mother that I didn't want to speak with her again after she made some racist statements about black people.

On Facebook, I've had to unfriend ...

The NYC kink scene is in a state that some have called chaos, others have called reformation, and I consider a raging tire fire.

Every week there is a blowup about a new consent violator- and for every big name, several smaller names go unnoticed. Event organizers have taken a ...

I've become more vocal lately about my criticism of the scene, especially in NYC, where I live.

I have seen others be critical from a place on high, talking about the consent actions of others and contrasting themselves as the pillar of righteousness and goodness.

I am not that ...

One of the themes that I keep reading about in the various reports about consent violations and abuse is that many times the victims didn't come forth because they wanted to appear "drama free".

I've also met people who will avoid others due to being "drama". I've ...

I see two positive sea changes in our community.

The first is that we're seeing people come out, finally, and name abuse. This is a vital first step and I'm thrilled that we have it in place. Without mentioning anyone specifically, it's clear that abuse has been ...

I'm heartened to see the public outcry about the abuses that were done by people like SN and EP in the NYC area. Speaking out against the kinds of abuse is an important first step into changing the culture that allowed these things to happen. But there's something ...

When I first met some of the people who are now accused of abuse, I thought they had the kink relationship of my dreams. They had multiple slaves working long hard hours, devoted to them, playing with them, handing over power and authority to them, encouraging their dreams and helping ...

As a child of the 80s, I grew up playing Pac-Man and defeating Pac-Man's four ghost foes: Blinky, Pinky, Inky and Clyde.

Many of us are familiar with the kind of ghosting where a person you're in touch with disappears, there's another kind of ghosting- the Blinky ...