Vir Cotto's BDSM Blog

I am no longer afraid

In the last month, I've had to let people go, out of my life.

Just about a month ago, I told my mother that I didn't want to speak with her again after she made some racist statements about black people.

On Facebook, I've had to unfriend people due to things they've said about trans people. I will spare everyone the details, but I'll say it was hate speech. And in one person's case, defending that speech by saying that trans rights are "a political issue"- thereby distancing themselves from the hate-filled nature.

And here on Fetlife, I've started to be more open about abusive behavior I've seen. As a community, we need to accept that not all abuse comes in the form of a consent violation and that other abusive behavior exists and need to be addressed. I stayed silent because the people who I've seen be abusive are powerful, well known members of the BDSM community.

But I'm not afraid anymore. I know that my speaking out may have consequences. I've already had some. But I no longer suffer the mental and physical pain that go along with protecting those who have done bad things.