Vir Cotto's BDSM Blog

I'm so sick of "drama free"

One of the themes that I keep reading about in the various reports about consent violations and abuse is that many times the victims didn't come forth because they wanted to appear "drama free".

I've also met people who will avoid others due to being "drama". I've also been accused of this.

And of course there is a limit, and some people seem to thrive on roller coasters or pain, but just as often, "drama" is a sign for a problem.

In the relationship I talk about with my ex who has BPD, there was often "drama" whereby a conflict would arise.

Drama is not all from the abuser- the abused will also come to expect it, and when it's missing, expect it, or even create it to fill the void that seems missing.

I'm reading the same people who have decried "drama" now coming to the staunch defense of the abused, proclaiming to be a champion of the victims, but only months before decrying "drama".

Perhaps they are seeing the error of their ways, or perhaps they're white knighting. I can't tell. But I hope that the "drama free" narrative is starting to end.

If you have a person in your life who is "drama", then maybe it's time to talk to them and ask them if they're alright- if they're cared for and supported. Maybe it's time to help them stop the drama and start the healing.