Accepting my kinks was a slow journey for me. It took me years, even once I had BDSM in my life, to express what I really wanted to do, and even once I'd started doing it, to admit why.
To my past self, and my sometimes present self, I will tell you openly that what you want is indeed fucked up. There's no denying it, but there are many, many fucked up people who want your fucked up thing. Some of them even want you to that fucked up thing to them!
To my past self, there's no way you could know that nearly every time you talk about what you want, the response is "That's hot".
To my past self self, who will twist himself in knots to justify wanting to do something evil- let go, they already know you're a good guy.
To my past self, what they meant by "work on yourself" wasn't to erase your desires, but to be in the best mental and physical condition to act on then.
To my past self- it's going to be alright.