Vir Cotto's BDSM Blog

Service is not Submission

One of the main challenges in explaining myself both to the vanilla and the BDSM world is the idea of service.

I'm a D type that enjoys service. I enjoy making the world a better place through volunteering. I enjoy doing things that will help my friends or loved ones, and I enjoy practising my kink in a way that will bring my partner pleasure.

I am capable of, but do not get any intrinsic pleasure out of submission. I don't find comfort or pleasure in it. But being giving and dedicating yourself to a cause or a person is not submitting to them, it's in service to them, which can hail from either a place of domination or submission.