When the news about Harvey Weinstein first came out, I didn't pay attention. When the news about Louis CK came out, something changed.

I don't know Louie CK, not personally anyway. I've seen his television shows and specials and I've even seen him live. I'm a fan. More than that, I thought "There's a guy who gets it", who understand society and politics in a way other people don't.

With the news about Louie CK, I've had to ask myself a difficult question- am I complicit in allowing this behavior to happen?

I've had to ask myself if I'm complicit in allowing those in power to silence victims because they are less powerful.

I don't mean Louie's behavior directly- as I said, I've never met Louie in person. But there are many Louies and many Harvey Weinsteins and Bill Cosby's. And they're not all sexual, and they're not all men. I've had to ask myself if I'm complicit in allowing those in power to silence victims because they are less powerful. Of course, it's never that simple. People in power become powerful because they are charismatic and determined. They will couch their victims in a terrible light, cast doubt not only on their story but on their personhood. They will use shame, shunning and isolation. They will not act alone, they will get the help and support of their friends and allies. They will create justifications for their behavior and use their charm to convince others that they are acting out of self-interest, rather than just to protect the monster themselves.

I believe in restorative justice and the first step is to face my own past and determine if I have been the monster, or supported others who have monstered others.

Social psychology teaches us that in the face of a principle we hold on one hand and actions we have already taken on the other, the individual will experience stress known as cognitive dissonance and in the face of this stress will shift their belief system. That is to say they will find a way to justify their behavior as positive rather than accept that they have been taking part in bad or harmful actions. This makes is hard for those around the monster to come forth, as they will not even realize they have done something bad, as doing so would be deeply shameful and cause emotional and psychic pain.

The next step towards healing is taking a hard look at oneself and seeing if we've been individually or institutionally complicit in harming another.

I believe in restorative justice and the first part is to face my own past and determine if I have been the monster, or supported others who have monstered others. While we cannot coddle the monsters themselves, we can act with love and compassion towards those around them, should they be willing to accept their past deeds, learn from them and move on.

...I must take it on personally. I must either stop it or if that's not possible, stop enabling that behavior by extricating myself from it.

The next step towards healing is taking a hard look at oneself and seeing if we've been individually or institutionally complicit in harming another. Only from this place of truth can we take corrective action in the future and begin to heal our soul. I am taking this first step and seeing how I may have aided others in their bad behavior. I am not proud of every action I've taken, but I am determined to not allow these things to continue.

And finally, when I see bad behavior going on around me, I must take it on personally. I must either stop it or if that's not possible, stop enabling that behavior by extricating myself from it.

Beyond that, there are more actions I must take, but the journey begins with one step, and it begins today.