When I talk to people who are curious about BDSM, they want to hear about experiences I've had or scenes I've done, but to me power exchange isn't about those wild scenes or crazy experiences, it's about connection. This is one of my favorite anecdotes:

Not that far from me a gourmet food market called Zabars. Zabars has a bit of everything. There's a cheese counter, a deli counter, a bakery, etc. The woman I was dating hadn't been to Zabars yet so we went on a little shopping trip. After passing the cheese and deli counter, I wanted her to pick up some bread while I checked out the fish. So I told her to pick up some bread and to meet me in the coffee section.

After waiting a few minutes for her, I went back to the bakery section and I saw her standing there, frozen.

I walked over to her and saw how tense she looked. I looked at her square in the eye and said, "You want one challah- plain, and one Italian loaf."

The moment the words left my mouth, a look of peace washed over her face, and she mouthed the words "Thank you."

I smiled, turned around and continued my shopping.